Question: What is the relationship
between HAIR and FOOTBALL?
Answer: Nothing, but that is
not the case these days in Iran. Hojatolislam Alipoor,
The Cultural big cheese of Iran Football Federation (no
relationship whatsoever to cultured cheese that is served
in France and known as blue cheese) in an interview said
that,
"Players need to trim their hair. Some players
like Anasarian of Perspolis have hair cut like Samurai's.
We can't accept that in the national team or at the club
level."
These
simple yet incomprehensible words created a stir in Iranian
and international media. We now know why Ansarian is
not the player he used to be. It is the hair stupid.
"That
long, GISS like, Sampson wannabe, Samurai hair stops Ansarian's
vision and causes problems."
That is if Samurai Ansarian had his vision in the back of his head.
How about Akbarpour, the Esteghlal player?
"Yes, his facial hair causes him to miss headers and footers."
Oops, that makes
him sound like a word processing software.
Mr. Alipoor has found the source of the poor plays for our players and
rather being thankful, grateful, we are all up in arms
making fun of him.
We now know that facial hair are alright as long as they are poorly maintained
or of bushy style (No,
it has nothing to do with George W. BUSH, I might add). But, not on
the head and not too trimmed on the face.
Mr. Alipoor, have you heard the phrase: Get a Life? Translating
the above to Farsi, it means, "Hair should cause no despair when it is curly and when it
is simply full of flare!" I say, all players should use Alireza Mansourian's hairstyle
as a role model. Shave that head and say good-bye to hair.
As for those great players like Daei
and Azizi making comments on the topic. Here is an advice
to you: Stay away from a hairy topic like this or else,
you would be dragged hairy deep into it and would not be able to hair your way
out of it. And
that is an advise from a hairy big guy!
As they say in this side of the oceans: Hair to the Chief!
